Transcript:

Ben Smith (00:26):

Welcome everybody to the Retirement Success and Maine podcast. It's 2025. Hope you're doing well. My name is Ben Smith. I'm one of your co-hosts here on the show. If you want to be a part of our conversation, feel free to reach out to us at Ben Smith at Guidance Point, RS Red as in R as in red, S as in sox.com, or find us on YouTube, Facebook, or LinkedIn. You can just search Retirement Success Maine podcast for some more great content there. And now I'd like to welcome the Caitlyn Clark to my angel Reese Curtis Worcester. How are you doing today, Curtis?

Curtis Worcester (00:57):

All right. I'm doing well, Ben. I'm doing well. How are you

Ben Smith (01:00):

Doing? Awesome. We went through Christmas time. I got some nieces that are all in love with Caitlin Clark, so I had understandably the basketball reference in

Curtis Worcester (01:12):

There. Good deal.

Ben Smith (01:13):

Well, today's episode of the Retirement Success in Maine podcast really excited about, we're going to explore a topic that's both deeply personal, incredibly powerful. It's how to design your life with intention. And I know as retirees, we've lived a lot of our life, right? As we've done our career, we've spent decades achieving goals and caring for others. But now you have the opportunity to reflect on what brings you joy, pride, and meaning. So to ensure that your next chapter aligns with a legacy you want to leave.

(01:44):

So we're going to be joined today by a life and career coach who specializes in helping individuals clarify their purpose, set meaningful goals, and make the most of every area of life, whether that's relationships, personal growth, or even rethinking how we approach the end of life from uncovering the moments you're most proud of to exploring what you still wish to experience. We'll discuss how to live a life with no regrets and plenty of intention. So if you're ready to rediscover what fulfillment means to you and craft a life that truly reflects your values and aspirations, stay tuned. This conversation is one you don't want to miss.

Curtis Worcester (02:17):

Exactly right, Ben. And again, you set it up perfectly there. Like all our shows, we enjoy having guests on. So our guest today, I think is perfect for this conversation. Our guest is highly regarded, holistic life coach and advisor. With over 30 years of corporate leadership experience, our guest was recognized as a top 50 executive at Unum. She has a proven track record of helping individuals achieve transformational growth in their personal and professional lives. Through her coaching business, she helps clients design lives that honor all five key areas of fulfillment. And don't worry, we're going to dive into these, but those five areas are financial, physical, relational, intellectual, and spiritual. Her work is grounded in both professional success and personal transformation. She has led groundbreaking leadership programs such as The Authenticity Program, empowering over 350 women, excuse me, and her forthcoming book. The Playroom explores the internal journey to authentic self-discovery. Through her coaching, speaking, and writing. Our guest helps people uncover their unique gifts, step into their full potential and live more intentional balanced lives. And don't worry, we'll have all the links below to give you all the information and how to reach out to our guest and find more about her. But at this time, please join me in welcoming Sherri Parks to the Retirement Success in Maine Podcast. Sherri, thank you so much for coming on our show today.

Sherri Parks (03:44):

Oh, thank you so much for having me, Ben and Curtis, I'm delighted to be here.

Ben Smith (03:48):

And Sherri, I know you and I go back and we were on a board together with Lit Volunteers of Maine, and so we're really excited for this collaboration. I know we professionally had that collaboration on the board, but to do this is pretty awesome to highlight your business that you have right now and go through that. And I want to just pause everybody to say, if you want to check more out to after this conversation, go to www.Sherriparks.com or on Instagram, you can find Sherri at Sherri parks or Sherri parks.coach. So you can pause right now, go give Sherri a follow on Instagram or go to the website and check that out. But Sherri, of course, with all of our shows, we want to get to know you a little bit, hear a little about your journey. So I know obviously you have had a journey from being a top 50 executive in a Fortune two 50 organization to becoming now a holistic life coach. So what inspired you to make this transition and focus on helping others design more intentional lives?

Sherri Parks (04:49):

Yeah, thanks so much for the question. My life, when you think about my life, it's really been parallel tracks. So there's been one track that's been this corporate career, which I hugely valued. What an amazing company, amazing opportunity there. And included in that track, I have four sons, so there was lots of hockey, lots of football, all of that stuff. And then in parallel to that, I've been a seeker. So I've asked a lot of deep questions about why we're here, what is life all about, those sorts of things. So I've really had this development, very deeply personal development track on the side. It all started to come together about five years ago when Pam Erickson and I developed the authenticity program at Unum. And as you said, 350 women went through it. And I loved that work. I mean, it just lit me up.

(05:45):

I really love to see how the women started in the program to where they ended. Many of them got promoted, went on to do amazing things. Some ended up leaving the company, developed her own herbal company. She's now an herbalist in Scarborough Maine. So I love that work. It fulfilled me. So then just in our life, Scott and I, my husband and I, our kids, three of them are in college, one is post-college, and it was really time to say, what's next? How do we start to make this transition to retirement? We're not ready to retire, but how do I spend my days doing things that I really love to do? And so I ended up leaving Unum. It was a good time and took a year to really get silent and figure out what I want to do. And this is what emerged as my heart's desire.

Curtis Worcester (06:39):

That's incredible. And I want to just, I guess keep going through it here, and I know I teased this in the intro, but you're coaching today, right? You emphasize those five key pillars of life. We have financial, physical, relational, intellectual, and spiritual. Can you just take and talk about what those pillars mean to you and why they're so important in creating and fulfilling life?

Sherri Parks (07:01):

Yeah. So early in my life, I would say financial was my focus. I grew up in Caribou, Maine. I had a great family. My parents provided for us, but I had the desire to want more. And so I went to Bowdoin College. After Bowdoin, I ended up in New York City in sales, and my focus was really on financial. I wanted financial freedom. I wanted to be able to do what I wanted to do

(07:32):

Right around 23, 24, I was lucky enough to qualify for our conference. I found myself in Hawaii at a five star hotel, and I'm thinking, this is amazing. But I got there and something was kind of missing. I didn't feel the fulfillment that I wanted to feel. And so it really, along with this personal journey that I've been on, I read a lot. I thought a lot about it. I have done many, many trainings and deep dives, and what I came to in reading was that these five key areas when balanced according to your own desires and wants, that is really what leads to fulfillment. It's been a long journey for me. So that's kind of why it started out. And the five areas, I think they're very personal to people. So how I might think about my financial success could be different than how you think about it, Curtis and Ben. So when I work with clients, it's very much a discovery process to help them think it through, but I'll just share what my personal feeling of each one of them is. So when it comes to financial, it's really about freedom. It's about peace. I want to be able to pay my bills. I want to be able to travel. I want to be able to help my kids with college, help my kids with weddings. So it's about giving travel and just peace. I don't want to have to about the grocery bill

(08:58):

A I don't need a jet or anything like that. I'm pretty simple person. When it comes to physical, it's around health and vitality. That last year that I was at Unum, I was starting not to be able to move my arm, and that's what happens to bodies. We start to break down over time. So that year of getting quiet was also about a year of revitalizing my health,

(09:24):

And that is a major focus. And that slice of the pie has the energy towards that has gone up significantly for me in the last year. When it comes to spiritual, I really think about just a deeper connection with life force, with the universe. I know I'm not in it alone, and that's my personal journey, but anything around spiritual is very personal. A lot of people, they have their own faith, then that's really important. But for me, it's about mindfulness, connection, getting centered. Then when it comes to intellectual, that really is the work component, a passion, a focus. And for me, it's about doing things that I spend time with, disappearing time. I'm just in the flow, and that's what I'm doing now. For many, many years in the corporate world, I felt that way, and at the end I didn't feel that way. I didn't feel as vital, which was my clue to kind of say, I need to do something different. I want to do something different. And then relational, it's really about, for me, deep, authentic bonds. I'm not a super surface-y person. I like to really connect with people on a deep personal basis. And then as you think about those five slices, a lot of what I do working with people, you don't have to spend equally amounts of time in each. It's really about the distribution that works for you, and that's such a personal process.

Ben Smith (10:58):

So Sherri, just a follow up question to that,

(11:01):

And maybe it's just answering it personally or just kind of what you're experiencing, or again, through what you've coached, especially at Unum. But so when you find, obviously you're finding those are the five key pillars, and obviously financial, it seems like that's the one that maybe there's a lot of focus on just generally is that everybody's just kind of, Hey, I have to pay bills and have be career focused, and we're on this track. Are you finding that others that are strong or more focused than others that are just generally not as focused on What do you kind of see out there, I guess is the question?

Sherri Parks (11:36):

Yeah, it's really a mix because, and a lot of it depends on the age of someone. It's appropriate for somebody in their thirties and forties to have that intellectual pie as you're building your career to have that be a major focus. And then once you end retirement, there's an opportunity to maybe have some of the other slices become bigger. I do find that in our society, it's very consumerism driven, and it's really easy to say, well, if I just had that home, well, if I just had this and that, it'll make me happy. And I've never seen that actually make people happy. I think we've lost community in the world. I think we've lost a little bit of spiritual base, and I think people are clamoring and wanting authenticity. And I see that across the board in people that I talk to. Sometimes they're just confused about, Hey, my life is so blessed, but why am I not happy? Why am I not fulfilled? That sets up for a really meaty conversation. It's across all, sometimes people don't have their health. It doesn't matter how many dollars you have in the bank, you don't have the life that you really want.

Ben Smith (12:56):

Sure. So Sherri, I'll then go into the authenticity theme real quick here. Obviously if you're coaching others, it's tough to ask them to be authentic if you're not willing to be authentic yourself. So I know you're working on a new book called The Playroom. So can you tell us a little bit about that inspiration behind it, what readers can expect to learn from your story or self-discovery when it comes out?

Sherri Parks (13:17):

Yeah, yeah, thanks so much for asking. This is my creative project of the moment, and it's something that has been in me for about 15 years.

(13:27):

My

(13:28):

Husband even bought books about writing and they just sat on the shelf. But it is a deeply personal story about my internal story. I've dealt with food addiction, I've dealt with depression, I've dealt with imposter syndrome. I've dealt with a lot of those things. And it's my journey from that young age of when I kind of cut parts of myself off. So the playroom is actually a room in the house that I grew up in Caribou, Maine. It was the room where the Legos were in the games, where in we watched tv, and there's a scene that's in the book where I remember when I was four, when I cut a part of myself off that creative intuitive side because there was something in me that just knew it wasn't practical. And then it's been the journey back to my authentic self and claiming all parts of myself, how I cut myself off, how success was.

(14:29):

I mean, I was very driven most of my life. Where did that come from? And in some ways it served me in some ways it didn't serve me. So the book talks a lot about that. And I think in retirement, it's an opportunity for us to take a step back and not make any parts of our life wrong. It all added up to this moment. It all added up to me being able to do this and really help. But there were decisions that I made that don't serve me anymore. There were beliefs that I had, there were patterns that I had, and it's the process of breaking all that down and really claiming myself to live what I hope to be very vital years into for a few more decades.

Curtis Worcester (15:10):

I love that Sherri, and I appreciate the teaser, if you will, into the book. And I can probably confidently say for Ben and I that when that book comes out, we'd love to have you back and talk about it, but definitely want to promote that and let our listeners kind check that out themselves as well. I do want to keep going a little bit here, Sherri. And again, our goal today is really talking about this overall theme of designing life with intention. And again, Ben and I working, and even our listeners, again, thinking of that kind of retiree, pre-retiree age group, many retirees reach a point where they ask themselves, what now? How can someone begin to design their life with intention after years of just focusing on career and family?

Sherri Parks (15:56):

It's such an important moment for somebody. And that what now question is, is really a predecessor for transformation. I think it really starts with a discovery process. And I think one of your prior coaches on here talked a lot about that, Eliza, it's what I do with people is ask them a lot of questions and sometimes get them out of their heads because some people that I work with, some of the skills that made them very successful in the work world, analyzing things

(16:31):

Works

(16:31):

Against them in thinking about possibilities. So in my own life, when I first started to think about stepping out of the corporate world, I really thought I was just going to take a year and go back into the corporate world,

(16:47):

What you do. I got to a certain part of my career, but I found myself not wanting to do that. So I think it's a combination of taking time, asking questions, getting around the shoulds of life. There's so much peer pressure sometimes on what your life should be or how it should look, and just giving yourself permission. And then sometimes it's working with somebody like me to ask key questions. When was the last time you lost track of time? What is your ideal day? I can honestly say today I get up pretty excited about every day. I can say that for most of my career, but the last couple of years, it really felt like a slog to me.

Ben Smith (17:33):

Yeah. Well, sure. I know obviously this theme of designing life for the intention, and of course if we start with maybe end of life and thinking about, Hey, I'm reflecting then backwards and going backwards and saying, all right, well, if I look at that, it can probably feel pretty intimidating, but also maybe an opportunity to clarify what really matters. So my question is how can retirees start to think about the legacy they want to leave and align their actions with that vision?

Sherri Parks (18:02):

So I think this is another area where people immediately go, what's my financial legacy? Which is important. It's very valuable. It's something I think a lot about, but I also, I'm lucky enough to still have my parents. My parents are in their eighties. They're both still alive and thriving, and the most important thing that they're going to leave me isn't money. It's really their values. And so my dad is leaving me with a great sense of loyalty, and he's a person with an enormous amount of integrity, and my mom has just got empathy coming out every part of her, and a huge heart. So I think the conversation to have with retirees is yes, the money piece, but also what do you want your grandkids to remember about you? What do you want your grandkids to say about you? And again, it goes back to this discovery process of asking questions like, what qualities of people that were most influential in your life, what qualities did they have? Or what do you want your grandchildren to remember about you? Those are two examples of questions I might ask, but it's going across all five of those key slices again and saying, how do you want to show up in the world and what do you want to leave? And that is, I think, a tremendous legacy, and it can be fun.

Curtis Worcester (19:31):

Yeah, no, you're exactly right, Sherri. And those are things Ben and I, we hear people say that back to us. Obviously sometimes you have to pry a little bit, but even in our world, the money is not the whole story. It's a part of it, but you're exactly right. There's a lot more to it in that word legacy. One thing that we see a lot that you often talk about is the importance of celebrating the areas of life where we feel proud, but also acknowledging areas we wish we'd experienced more fully. So my question for you, how can people use this type of reflection to identify opportunities for growth or fulfillment?

Sherri Parks (20:09):

Yeah, it's such a great question. Retirement is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it's kind of like, Hey, here's all the things that I'm really proud of. I was quite successful in this. It's also prime though, for a lot of regret

(20:27):

For a lot of, oh, if I'd known what I knew now, I would really do it different. And sometimes people can get stuck in that. So it's really important to start with the positive because we are negative making machines as human beings, we will go to, Hey, here's all this stuff that I'm bad at. So it's important to start with, Hey, where did you succeed? What are you proud of? And a lot of times what I'm doing is I'm watching people, I'm watching their body language, I'm watching them to see what they get excited about talking about, because that is where the clue is about define your life. I think all of us would love a life where we get out of bed every day and say, I can't believe this is my life.

(21:10):

Well,

(21:10):

That's a very individual thing. What I like is definitely going to be different than what you like Curtis and what you like Ben. And it's really giving yourself permission to talk about what you're proud of and find clues of the things like, oh yeah, I really love doing this. I lose track of time. For me, I love planning. If you want something planned, you want to work with me because I just love planning. I lose track of time planning. I'm even planning for 2006 already. It's just my thing. And everybody has to find their thing. And it starts with the positive side because it's really easy to get down. It's really easy to say, oh, I can't do that. I'm too old, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Ben Smith (21:56):

I love that. And Sherri, I know that again in my career too, I've always as Simon Sinek, start with your why, right? Is kind

(22:05):

And kind of finding that in your moment of, well, what makes you lose track of time? And just me personally too of these sorts of things where I used to work for a publicly traded bank and that was great and I learned a lot, but being an employee and just this is what you need to do. Where now I think with Curtis and I, we have a level of ownership in the organization that we're a part of. There's this direct relationship between our clients and us, and there's really not a whole lot of things that are getting in the way of that relationship. And then being able to then invest our time into efforts like this and be able to have great conversations with folks like yourself, all those things, I think it just improves the value of your time and how you're spending it.

(22:52):

So even though you don't have to get to this pre-retirement or retirement space to kind of find this, and I think that's been my personal lesson of these conversations we've had, especially as you said with Elisa, Spain and Amy k Hutchins and a lot of the coaches that we've interviewed all over the years. But again, I know for me personally, that was something really important. But I want to shift the conversation to maybe just one of the slices specifically is kind of a relational piece. And I know for retirees relationships, whether it be our spouse, children, friends, grandkids, it's really central to happiness. And it is something where I know as we're aging and something that's just come along as a theme is this concept of loneliness continues to come up of, Hey, I'm getting older and my network is dwindling, and it's harder for us to connect with each other technology and maybe not up on a little as much, is that the relational part is more and more difficult as we go. So I want to ask the question in terms of you, Sherri, in terms of coaching, how can someone intentionally nurture these relationships in our lives that we find important to us will also staying true to our personal goals, I could see where we overinvest in relational and then we don't do the things that we personally want to do. So just talk about that balance and also kind of that slice there.

Sherri Parks (24:18):

Yeah, yeah. Thanks for that. Yeah. Relationships I find is one of the most challenging slices because some of the other slices are just you if you want to get healthy, it's just you need the discipline to go to the gym and eat healthy food and all of that stuff. Whereas relationships, it can get murky with somebody else because we all bring to those relationships our own specific filter. I think one is it's about being intentional about how much time you want to spend on relationships versus really fuel yourself. To me, I can't be a good friend. I can't be a good wife, I can't be a good colleague if I'm not taking care of myself. And so the foundation of health and that sort of thing needs to be there. But then when you're in relationships, I think it's about taking ownership of yourself and what is your contribution to that relationship.

(25:18):

And one of the things that I often talk to clients about is this tool that I use, which is called already always Listening. And it's a fancy way of saying, what is the filter that you bring to the relationship? So I'll give you an example. So my husband and I, we have a great relationship. He's definitely my lobster, but there are times that I don't feel like he's, I'll say something and he doesn't acknowledge it. He's also super analytical engineer type who doesn't always feel the need to respond to things, whereas I think everything needs a response. So I'll say something and he won't respond. So what do I do? Haven't already always listening for the fact that he doesn't listen to me. And so I repeat myself and then I repeat myself again, and then I repeat myself. So Curtis and Ben, if your wife were a colleague or something kept repeating themselves, how would you respond to that?

Curtis Worcester (26:17):

I'd say, why do you keep saying that exactly? Might be annoyance, right? I heard you the first time is what I would say.

Sherri Parks (26:25):

Exactly, exactly. I heard you the first time, please stop bagging me. And so if there's this dynamic sometimes in our relationship, so for me it's like taking a step back and saying, what am I contributing to this? And if he is experiencing me as nagging, I can be righteous in that. I could defend that. I could say, well, hey, here's all the stuff you're doing wrong. Or I can go back to myself and say, what am I doing? And maybe there's a possibility of changing my approach. So in relationships, I think the key is always to own what we can own as part of that relationship. And in my practice, I do a lot of work around relationships because sometimes people struggle with that. But back to the balance, it's really about making sure that you are a whole complete person yourself before you try to bring that to a relationship.

Ben Smith (27:25):

Yeah. Sherri, I want to ask, this is a follow-up that was not something we've kind of designed and asked you here. Just thinking of an example and just for, again, a lot of the clients that we're working with, they've done a really great job of saving money. So they've overbuilt maybe that pie slice of financial, that they have a level of financial safety, and now they're saying, well, geez, I've underdeveloped these other areas like relational. So using some of the resources that I have and the financial event to develop the relational, which I probably, maybe I had to ignore some of the other relational or that relational pie slice to prioritize financial. So example, I'm a retiree. I have saved a bunch of money and I'm like, what would be great is start reconnecting this family. Let's use some of the money I have. So let's go on vacation, let's get the kids. So I'm a grandparent, let's get the kids, let's get the grandkids, let's get this group of 15 people to all go on a vacation together. And then the kids are like, you're controlling me. That's not what I want to do. But I get this whole sense of I'm trying to reconnect strands. I'm trying to create shared values and shared memories, and there's resistance on how to do. How would you coach somebody to approach that conversation to build consensus and agreement and consistent desire, I guess is my question?

Sherri Parks (28:57):

Yeah, I want to say a couple more things about that, but answer your question first. I mean, we would just get into what's the circumstance here? Help me understand if you're taking your family on a vacation, why there's this resistance. So I'd really want to ask a lot of questions around what are people saying? Why are they saying it? How are those people experiencing it so that their response makes sense? Everybody's actions 100% correlates with their perception of something. So I'd really want to dive into that. What is their perception so that their response is 100% aligned with how they're thinking about things? So it would be a whole dialogue, a lot of different questions where we'd dive into that. But I do want to add a couple of things. Last year, one of the things that Scott and I were able to do is we were able to take our adult children to Italy. We had had a trip planned to London and Paris over Covid and when they were all in high school and it didn't happen. And so my son, our oldest son was graduating from college, and we thought, this is a window where we don't have hockey anymore.

(30:19):

So over Christmas we could actually go and do something. And we brought Mason's girlfriend as well, and we went to Italy and Scott and I were very intentional about who we want to be on that trip to create much more of a bonding in our family. And that's exactly what happened. It was quite a bit of an investment, but it was worth every penny. And then also in retirement, I'm not retired, but one of the things that I've done to create community is start playing pickleball. So every week I play pickleball and some of my best girlfriends have emerged from the silliness of

Curtis Worcester (31:02):

Pickleball. I love that. I love that. I want to go back a little bit to something we talked about a couple of questions ago or something that you brought up in your answer I should say, and that was just this inherent negativity we sometimes have as humans. So one of the challenges I think people face is overcoming those limited beliefs or patterns that hold them back. I guess my question, Sherri, is how can retirees identify these obstacles and start taking steps to break free and live with that more intention?

Sherri Parks (31:34):

Yeah, great question. I think it starts with a willingness. It's really easy to get so busy and we're all just making the donuts, getting the kids off to school, taking care of our parents, blah, blah, blah, that we don't even maybe understand what's happening in our own lives. A lot of times it's in the blind spot. And so Buddha said, be a lamp into yourself. And I love that concept of, hey, where in your life are you coming against friction? You've got this vision and you just can't seem to make it happen. Or maybe you're confused, maybe you don't know. That's an opportunity to have a lamp into yourself and start to say with curious compassion, you definitely want to have compassion with yourself, but say, Hmm, why do I do that? What is behind me taking that action? I want that thing, but I'm not taking the action that's aligned with that. So it really starts with that curious compassion into yourself, and that's where someone like me can be of help because I can really just start to ask some questions That's interesting. Do you know, say this thing a lot, what is that about? And that's how we start to peel the onion to find those things that are in the blind spot.

Ben Smith (32:56):

I love that. Nice. So Sherri, I know we're talking about these five pillars here a bit and talking about the importance of balance amongst them, and I could just see where just again, the clientele we work with or even myself, I spend so much time focusing on one or two of them that when I get to retirement, then I'm probably going to do the opposite. The pendulum's just going to swing the other way. I'm going to go, well, I'm going to ignore financial. I'm going to go right into physical and relational where I got to really focus in and I've not done enough and now I only do that. So I could see where I could start kind of going back and forth and doing too much talk about balance. Just talk about balance and what strategies can all of us use to ensure that we're nurturing each of these areas equally?

Sherri Parks (33:44):

Yeah, yeah. I think I said this earlier in the conversation and I'll just repeat it. I don't think it's necessary to have a fulfilled life to have balance across all five, because again, each one of us really values these things differently.

(34:00):

So

(34:01):

It really comes down to sitting in front of a pie with these slices and saying, what is the optimal mix? How much time do I want to stay in relationships? How much time do I want to put towards spirituality? How much time do I want to put towards work? I can tell you for the first half of my life work was probably 50% or more of that pie,

(34:25):

And

(34:25):

It's still a big chunk, but it's less and health is a lot more. So it's just about the whole topic of this podcast, which is intentionality and taking the time to think about it and then getting beyond the shoulds and getting into what do you really value? What lights your body up? And I can say, Hey, I really value this. Sometimes in coaching I'll witness someone and say, I really value something, but I can tell their body is constrained.

(34:57):

And

(34:57):

Then they'll start talking about something else and I'll say, do you know really light up when you talk about this thing? Sometimes they're like, no, I had no idea. Because in the first half of life it is about acquiring. It is about fitting in. It is sometimes putting parts of ourselves in a box and the invitation in retirement, I would even argue before retirement, is to start unpacking some of those things. I'm letting those things become free. And I think the two of you did that by going from a bank into your own entrepreneurialship. I'm sure today you're like, wow, I can't believe what I did in 10 years. It's pretty cool and you really set yourself up. So you two are examples of doing that.

Curtis Worcester (35:42):

I love that.

Sherri Parks (35:43):

Thank you for

Curtis Worcester (35:43):

That. And I just want to point out something you've said a few times now, I think that's worth repeating again, is that getting past the shoulds, I think that's really important and clearly it's something important to you and your practice. It keeps coming up, but that's a good message. I think if there was a small takeaway. I think that's a really good one. I have a question that's kind of a general question in terms of just what you've seen in your practice, I think, and maybe sharing some insight first or secondhand there, but the question is how does intentionally setting personal growth goals, example, maybe learning a new skill or exploring a passion, again, thinking retirees here or somebody with newfound time on their hands, how does that help retirees or anybody find more joy and purpose in this stage of life?

Sherri Parks (36:29):

There's a lot of science behind this that says, Hey, if you just sit around with nothing to do, it sounds wonderful for maybe a few months, but then you start to lose a part of yourself. So it's really important to set goals, whatever it is, whether it's pottery or pickleball or my uncle makes kayaks from scratch or writing a book or doing that, it gives you purpose, it gives you function, and to a human brain, that's an important thing. It's part of our survival and there's a lot of science behind that.

Ben Smith (37:09):

I

Curtis Worcester (37:09):

Love

Ben Smith (37:09):

That. So Sherri, I know, and just kind of experiential for us too is

(37:15):

That many of us really don't think about designing our lives until we face major transitions is two point. That's why we have a show about retirement is day one, retirement major transition. Now I am faced with having to make decisions and talking about a little bit of, I think what you're doing is staying proactive is why do I have to wait for a major transition to hit me to then make a life change and say, Hey, well, and when I get to 63, then I will go and make these changes or those sorts of things. So talk about just staying proactive and how creating a meaningful life rather than reacting to circumstances. I know Curtis and I have had obviously a bunch of interviews with folks, I got to got kidney cancer, or I found a brain tumor and then I change, which again, remarkable circumstance, amazing transformation is what we've seen with these people, and it is just really inspirational of what they've had to overcome and do. But just thinking about applying it to ourselves of saying, Hey, why do I have to wait until I have a brain tumor to then make a transformation in my life? Why can't I just start today? So talk about that switch of reactiveness to proactiveness here.

Sherri Parks (38:38):

Yeah, yeah. It's a really simple answer, but it's really hard to do and the simple answer is just taking the time to do it. So in business, we're all used to quarterly reviews. We're all used to annual reviews, biweekly one-on-ones where we talk about the work or et cetera.

(39:00):

It's

(39:01):

Just taking that framework and applying it to your personal life and really asking yourself questions, where am I fulfilled? Where am I not fulfilled? Your body will give you lots of clues. The fact that my shoulder started hurting

(39:16):

And it, I was lifting too much weights or anything like that, there's something was emerging that was off, something had served me and now it's off. And so it's really just about claiming the time for yourself and being curious about yourself and creating a structure, create a structure with your spouse maybe once a quarter and sit down and say, how are we doing? What are our goals? Are they the same goals? Are they different goals? Are we happy? Are we fulfilled? Are we striving for what we want? And just staying consistent with it. It's very simple, very hard to do.

Ben Smith (39:59):

I like that. I think what you're just saying, and I've heard it in the professional sense a bunch, and I, Doug Hall, who was one of the inventors for Proctor and Gamble, who was teaching at University of Maine and was leading an innovation engineering degree there, but I've heard him talk several times and he was saying that, look, every nine days he would do an inventory of what he learned and what he was passionate about in his career. If he was not learning an inventing something and really passionate about it, he goes, it's time to move on. It's time to change. So hearing what you just said about doing this personal review cycle and going through this and taking inventories, am I in the cycle of being in mundane living and I'm not passionate anymore? And what would it take to get me there? And kind of translating that, it's like there's some really cool things that come out of the professional life, but we only apply it to the professional life.

(40:53):

So exactly when you and I have chatted a little bit offline, what I love about your practice, and it looks like what you're doing is applying a lot of that professional knowledge that you've gained over your career and the coaching and the management style, and then applying this to these other four aspects of our lives and continue to push and grow and challenge is to get there. So from a resource perspective, I think Curtis and I really want our listeners to have these resources and folks like yourself as that resource that they can reach out and go, I do feel like if I'm scaling one to 10, I'm a two right now in terms of mundane living and I feel like I'm stuck and I want to get out of this and I want to do better. So I want to just plug that real quick. I think that's really important from a design perspective and the proactive perspective. It's really important to do.

Sherri Parks (41:45):

Yeah. Can I add a couple more things to that? Please. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. And also I bring my planning ability. Sometimes people just don't know where to start and it's really hard if you have this big audacious goal. The big audacious goal that I had to write a book, it was quite overwhelming at first. I almost, I created a vision board and I almost didn't put it on there because it was scary. It was like, I don't know where to start. What do I know about this? And so it's really taking something like that and breaking it down into very manageable components, which is something we all learn in business. And it seems very simple, but it can be really hard to do. And then the second thing is sometimes people struggle to do these exercises. It's scary. I know, hey, if I'm a CEO, I know how to knock it out of the park when it comes to running this business, but gosh, I'm struggling with a relationship with my kid or my spouse and that seems really hard, so I'm not sure I really want to go there. And sometimes you need a little bit of help.

Curtis Worcester (42:54):

That's great. I personally can say as a planner and been just as much if not more of a planner as myself, I am very excited to sit down with my wife at our quarterly review now and I'm going to put together a not going to be too happy, I don't think, but we're going for it. No, I'm just kidding. Again, obviously one question we love to ask all of our listeners, Sherri, how are you personally going to find your retirement success?

Sherri Parks (43:20):

Yeah, thanks so much. I love this question. I feel like I sort of already am moving towards that, and I'll answer the question using the five slices. So when it comes to financial, it's really about financial freedom. I want to be able to pay my bills. I just get back from three weeks in Southeast Asia and I want to continue to help be there for my kids and what they need, weddings, et cetera. When it comes to intellectual, I'm doing it. I love writing, I love coaching. I want to continue to do that. I won't probably do it full time in retirement, but it's setting me up to do it in the hours that I want to do it. When I get there. Relational, it's about deep relationships with my kids, my husband, my pickleball friends, and having that community of like-minded people that see me and accept me for me is what I have. And I'll continue to have that spiritual, a moment of reflection every day, a moment of quiet, really writing in my journal. I have a deep mindfulness practice, yoga, sound bath, so all of that will be part of retirement and then physical at 90, my goal is to be able to still pick up half my body weight and I want to be able to wrangle grandkids or great grandkids, whoever's around at that time.

(44:48):

So I'm really fortunate I'm already kind of living it and it'll change slightly, but that's what I plan to do.

Ben Smith (44:56):

I love that so much. Well, Sherri, I can't thank you enough for coming on our show today. I think there's just never enough time to talk about these things about, again, being more proactive and being more intentional with what we're doing. Again, we know we all have a finite limited amount of time, so I think it's really important to be thoughtful around it and talk to those who can help us get there. So as a resource, we love that. Thank you so much for coming on our show today.

Sherri Parks (45:24):

Yeah, thanks so much for having me. And if you have any listeners that want to come talk to me, I do offer 30 minute free discovery sessions that get a sense of what it's like to work with me and no obligations, but I really appreciate both of you and what you do, and thank you.

Ben Smith (45:41):

Awesome. Sherri, you be well, take care. Really excited to have Sherri Parks on today. Again, I think for a person of, again, she's her experience of working at Unum and kind of her career success and now translating it to obviously just introspectively for herself, but also the others, which I thought that was really, really pretty cool. And as I know we concluded, there're about taking a planned measured approach to a lot of the things that we're doing in life and living intentionally. I think she's going to help a lot of people. Absolutely. So again, I know for our show, love to share her website, her Instagram there can go to our website blog dot guidance point llc.com/ 1 0 6 for episodes 1 0 6, and you can kind of find more there. Again, just encourage you to go reach out and see if she can help. But we appreciate everybody tuning in today. Hope you got something out of it. I know we did, and we'll catch you next time.