Transcript:

Ben Smith (00:26):

Welcome everybody to the Retirement Success main podcast. My name is Ben Smith and I'm one of the co-hosts here on the show. Listeners, hope you're all doing well. Nice fall weather we're having right now. Apple picking pumpkins, all those really good fall festivities. So hope you're out there enjoying those things. We'd love to have you be a part of the show and you can always email us my email address, Ben Smith at guidance point r s.com. You can also go to YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, just search Retirement success in Maine podcast. You can find our content there. Feel free to drop a line and we'd love to discuss with you there. But also want to introduce my co-host, the Drake Maye to my Jacoby Brissett. Curtis Wister. How are you doing today?

Curtis Worcester (01:14):

I'm doing well, Ben. I'm doing well. I appreciate it. How are you?

Ben Smith (01:17):

Good. So Patriots, quarterbacks a little bit of a lineage there, and again, I think we're starting to see a little Drake Maye coming into the picture there as Patriots fans.

Curtis Worcester (01:30):

That's right.

Ben Smith (01:30):

But speaking of Patriots and kind of things moving forward and inspiring us as we all are in New England, are today's episode really of retire success and main podcast, it's going to be one that we wanted to speak to, was resilience in the face of overwhelming odds, right? And I know that's a theme we've talked about a few times in our show and there's a lot of ways to explore it and how can we all find deeper meaning in life, especially after going through some life altering events. And I think as you hear this story, it is going to remind us of the fragility of life, but also the immense strength that can emerge from tragedy. But our role as advisors, when we talk to our clients, we're always talking about planning for our retirement, ensuring some financial stability and building meaningful relationships. But again, this idea of resiliency and how do we cope when the unexpected happens? What do we do when life throws us a curve ball that changes everything? So today we want to dive into a topic that we hope will resonate with many of you out there. How to recover emotionally, mentally, from a near death experience and how to navigate the long lasting effects that such an event can have on family, friends, and even our sense of self.

Curtis Worcester (02:45):

Yeah, that's right. Ben and our guest today has an extraordinary story. In 2011, he was involved in a near fatal car accident with a tractor trailer leaving him with just a 1% chance of survival After a grueling recovery process. He emerged not only as a survivor, but as someone dedicated to helping others overcome their own adversities. He has gone on to become a keynote speaker, mental health advocate, self-published author and life coach, using his story to empower people to face life's challenges with courage and resilience. Again, today we're going to hear from him about that experience, the emotional trauma of the event, how it impacted relationships with his family and friends, what lessons he's learned that could help all of us, especially maybe those entering or living in retirement, finding meaning and purpose in the face of adversity. So again, whether you faced health challenges yourself, experienced a traumatic event, or simply want to better understand how to cope when life does feel overwhelming, this episode is going to be one for you. So again, we're hoping to inspire you to move forward with hope and determination. So with that, please join me in welcoming Ethan poetic to the retirement success in Maine podcast. Ethan, thank you so much for coming on our show to share your story today.

Ethan Poetic (04:08):

Hey, thanks very much for having me on here. This is going to be a wonderful opportunity to impact lives.

Ben Smith (04:13):

Absolutely. I love that. And Ethan, I know obviously we like to get to know our guests and I think your story is really impactful. I know when we chatted a little bit of the pre-chat before it moved me, and I'm really excited about our show today, but I know there's a lot we wanted to get to. I want to jump right in. I loved for you to just kind of start with just taking us back to the day of the accident. Talk to us about what do you remember of the moments leading up to and immediately following the crash?

Ethan Poetic (04:47):

I said before, I don't technically remember everything. What ended up happening was as I was doing a lot of soul searching, my book titled Inspirational Stories, ethernet Poetic Chronicles of Adversities, education, sports Relationships and Resiliency, it kind of had me face, look at the thing for face value, looking at my Facebook wall of all the people saying they're praying for me. It required me to also look at the television story that was about it in that past tense. And to look at the newspaper article where it says I'm in critical condition.

(05:24):

It's a combination of a lot of things where I had to do some these soul searching from within and up appear and listen to what other people have to say. It is like, for example, you've been to a party, you had a good time and you were present there so much like this car accident. I was present there, but I don't remember what happened there. So with this soul searching had to do, it had forced me to step outside my comfort zone where the last time, remember seeing it is a Hess gas station that's shopping outlets and boom, I wake up in the IC unit two times prior to that ride on the ambulance. Based on that soul searching I had to do, the driver ran into an 18 wheeler head on. He dies instantly. My aunt suffers a lot of broken bones. A cousin who's behind her, who's her grandson, he only suffered mental stuff, but he got over it eventually. Unfortunately, the kid in the middle was her other grandchild who did not make it. And then for me being behind the driver, I had that 99% chance of death versus what percent chance of life. Those are not good odds.

Curtis Worcester (06:34):

No,

Ethan Poetic (06:34):

It's a high percentage of getting divorce rate, winning the lottery, dropping out of college, high school, you name it. But that 1% is what we need of a faith of a mustard seed to override odds that are spaced against us in the game of life. And can you imagine the car getting cut in half by the jaws of life, by the fire department?

(06:55):

Can you imagine when they had to take off their gloves and put their hands or fingers on my pulse to see if I was even breathing or had any blood flow? Can you imagine the EMT people coming and the police coming where they had to put a neck brace on me and put me on a stretcher so delicately, and these are people I don't even know just like they don't know me. And then there's also the situation of just the nearest hospital's 30 minutes away, but I should have died within three to five minutes, but it just didn't happen for some reason. So it had to be something supernatural. Beyond measure, beyond belief. When I arrived to the hospital, people were still praying for me the surgery was high risk to fix my aorta, I should have died of internal bleeding. When they did the surgery, they thought I died on the operating table one, the nurses I was told brought hysterically, so they decided to put me in a coma or a whole bunch of medicine to see if I'll wake up. Because normally for a normal person that wake up either the sound, the alarm cell phone, for me it's a matter of will I wake up ever again?

(08:02):

When I did wake up, I woke up twice, I was in the cloud nine state. I'm heavily medicated through the injuries. Then I wake up in a more conscious state or look around why am I in the IC unit and nobody's telling me anything, and as I look at the door, I see a nurse crying tears of joy and that's the day I was considered a walking, living miracle.

Curtis Worcester (08:23):

Yeah, it's just incredible. Ethan, I want to ask, you just talked about it there, you were facing those odds, right? Those immense odds of not surviving. How was that communicated to, and I know there's a lot you just went through of there's a lot you don't recall kind of firsthand given the nature of it, how was the medical team approaching you or your family? As much as you can recall during this while this was going on,

Ethan Poetic (08:52):

It's a combination of the accident happened. I'm at the hospital and somebody calls my dad, my dad calls my mom and they stop what they're doing in their life

(09:03):

Driving fast they can to er general hospital and traffic was backed up. I believe the medical team did a very good job. I believe they did everything they could in that high risk pressure moment that they were prepared for and trained and certified. The hospital was just a situation where I went from being able to eat to all of a sudden I'm on a feeding tube, I got IVs in my vein, I lost all this weight, I got people coming to visit me, people calling on that hospital phone line. People even get well cards. There may have been some balloons and there's talking to the chaplain and I got haunted. I was in there for a month and I was just looking around. What happened when I finally was told everything, normally you get told something so traumatic, you'll break down and cry, show emotion. I didn't have that. It's like I heard what you said, but because I'm on all these pharmaceutical medicines, my body's by S have become these sensitized to the point where you can tell me your grandma died. I can hear it, but I don't feel it. It's like, for example, I shake your hand regularly, you'll feel a sense, but if I shake your hand with the oven mint, I'm not going to feel that sensory. And that's how the medicine was. It stop the sensory of it.

(10:28):

But I also was in rehab rebuilding muscles, struggling to pick up a beanbag again, people come in to visit me, calling on the phone. Then there's also just being encouraged to not sit on being in a wheelchair or they're going to start using blood thinners. Then there's the speech therapy, the neck therapy, the walkin therapy, the occupational therapy, you name it, you go through the ringer.

Ben Smith (10:53):

Yeah, Ethan and I hear what you're saying about again, you have this emotional dulling, right? Is that you're on medication, you just went through something traumatic. I can imagine at some point as you're going through rehab and building yourself back up, there's still an emotional toll even though in the moment you couldn't feel it. I'm sure even today there's an emotional toll that you've had to manage and handle. Can you just talk about what were some of those hardest moments for you emotionally? Again, it might not be as you said immediately, but what did you experience and how did you work through it?

Ethan Poetic (11:31):

It's a lot of things that were going on, and I talk about it in the book where I learned this quote where it gets worse before it gets better, and I'm pretty sure people can relate this when you're in a hospital or rehab, people show up on their best behavior, treat you with the utmost respect. Unfortunately, a couple of people that let me down that I talked about in the book, for example, when I was on the feeding tube, there was a couple people that I mentioned in the book that were not necessarily looking out for my best interests, and it is a shame that it comes down to that, but I also realize that's the foundation. I stood stand out with them even before I was in that life or death situation. But I also found out people who were true to me when it came to help me get my driver's license, getting my permits, just that utmost support I was thankful of and being on people's prayers lists emotionally, it's like I couldn't really express anything.

(12:30):

It's like I hear what you're saying, I could see something that went wrong, but I'm desensitized and it's to the point where it's not that I feel invisible, I don't feel as normal anymore because when you're desensitized, it's like a person in a marriage. You may hear what your wife's saying, but it's when ear out the other, and I'm only using that as an example because you're telling me something, but since I'm on all these medications, it's one ear out the other. If I see something that doesn't look right, it's one blink after another. But I still had a sense of faith that there had to be better days ahead because I just couldn't settle for the light that was going on for me.

Curtis Worcester (13:12):

And Ethan, you've mentioned it a couple times and I just want to pause and tell everyone listening. We will also have a link to your book in the show notes of the show so people can go find that book and read all about it. I didn't want to leave that unsaid. I want to talk about maybe the relationships with your family and friends. Ethan, certainly after the accident, right? I'm sure they experienced emotional trauma just like yourself. How did you all navigate those changes together?

Ethan Poetic (13:42):

It was situation where, this is where I got to keep it 100. Since I mentioned in the book and everything else, it's like my parents decided stop what they're doing and kind of gather for my best interest because I'm in the hospital and rehab. Prior to that, they weren't looking out for my best interests, other people in the family. It was just like, here's the phone calls, here's the text messages. When I finally get ahold of a cell phone, there were people that were wondering why I didn't reply back to their message. I still had a sense to tell 'em this is what happened to me, and they were just shocked. And then there was also people who were wondering what's going on. They saw everything on my wall, but they didn't understand what was going on until they found on the news and word of mouth. It was a situation where it was a journey and a marathon of my recovery because there was no telling if I was going to eat again, walk properly, regain that weight, and that kind of has people think that sense of wow, life can be changed in a snap of a finger and it doesn't even have to be your fault.

(14:53):

I'll just say there were some family members that were encouraging there being present, talking on the phone dms. Remember one time this guy gave me his laptop to borrow. I remember just a lot of visitors and one of the visitors ended up finally their own life turned off to be my cousin when we match our ancestry.com.

Ben Smith (15:12):

Wow.

Ethan Poetic (15:14):

We were both surprised. And then there was just an outpour, people just praying for better days because this is not the person they're used to seeing.

(15:24):

And there was all the people from different communities in different parts of the world or just being more encouraging, being more influential in my life. Just making sure I understand that there's more to me than what's going on right now. And how I overcame it is outlasting a lot of things. It's like a person on drugs in rehab. I didn't suffer from no Opendoor addiction. I didn't have no PTSD, and that's confirmed by a doctor in their notes. Even with the MRI, I didn't even turn to anything that most people would turn to as addictive the cope would like, but I did the help I needed through counseling when I started being detoxed off the medicine, being weaned, and actually now my body senses start coming back to me over time, start eating again. Then I get off the feeding tube, but then one moment I'm thinking, I spent all this time recovering. Now I got to go through a whole nother journey. And that's what I talk about in the book. It involves certain people just not making healthy decisions, like one person giving money to a person over the internet, another person stealing from their job and facing some serious charges from either the state general attorney or county da. Those are serious situations and there was a couple more situations that happened, but ultimately life happens and during times of adversity, you get to see a person's true character.

Ben Smith (16:56):

And Ethan, I know obviously there's a lot there and we're going to cover a lot more of this, but near death experiences is kind of its own little thing here too. And especially as a younger person going through it. As I know when we're all younger, we have this sense of invulnerability and oh, that can't happen to me and I can do whatever I want in my life. And I think as we get older, we start to get a little more sense of mortality and that life is more precious. And I know you got that dose of it right out the gate is here's this accident. As you said, it wasn't even something that you did to yourself, it was something that happened to you and just want to hear from you about how did that change your outlook on life. Right here you are, as you said, you had a long recovery, you had long rehab, changing that outlook on life and how has that changed how you approach everyday interactions and decisions?

Ethan Poetic (17:55):

It changed in a lot of ways. It's just find out who was really there for me versus those who were just there for the moment or just there because they were concerned. Eventually people got going with their lives and it happens. It changed in a way of when I did start working again with the after school program with sports and working inside classrooms and going to college. College was a sanctuary where I could just show up here. Don't have to worry about talking about that ever again. Well, I'm showing at the word, I'm not sure if you two guys are parents or proud uncles. If somebody's working with your kids or somebody else's kids or your nieces or nephews in a school setting, after school setting, you're going to want to know who that person is because sometimes the human resources misses things. And what ended up happening was I was being researched by the parents and then they would show up to me with their cell phones at a sporting event and say, is this you from the car accident?

(18:56):

Oh, I'm like, yeah, that is me. And it just happened so often. It came overwhelming. I was not ready to talk about it. And I mentioned my boss said, I'm inspirational. I got to learn how to deal with it. And then there's a time where I remember working in the classrooms, I thought I could just be myself in the education field, being a teacher assistant, building assistant or working with kids with special needs. There were a few times where these teachers researched me and one time teachers said they want to go on a coffee break. Oh, Ethan, can you tell about your story and your book? I wasn't ready to talk about that. Then is another time where I got an email from a teacher saying, oh, instead of us doing this reading lesson, can you just tell me your story? And then when I finally did, when it finally happened with a, it's like a follow-up interview from the television and newspaper, I was more willing to speak about it in the sense of I'm an involved version myself. I'm not that person of the past tense, but I did experience it. Next thing you know, principals find out like what colleges are like. We didn't even know about this and that's a lot of spotlight on me and I thought I was going to need a police escort to work moving forward.

Ben Smith (20:13):

Nice.

Ethan Poetic (20:14):

And then when I made the newspaper, I bought several copies of it, laminated 'em and put 'em in the frame television. I had help from PEs Produce, which is a mom and pop produce one of the best in America. The CFO contacted one of the television reporters, suggested they do a story on me, a follow-up story. And the same day I graduated from college, well before the college first I had to get done work, then go to TA Prep, which is a nonprofit organization helping people with going further education much more. There's a reporter, the television person and her staff. We go inside do the interview and luckily I brought my certain things with me for B roll. It was a one of interviews. She, Jordan S was also interview. He was also the former CEO of Atala Prep, fully known as Children Deserve Chance Foundation.

(21:10):

After that was done, I left pick up my father figure. We started off as neighbors. Then we go straight to the college graduation ceremony. I give 'em a ticket and from there the camera people were ready to record me going up that stage, get my name announced I had a diploma or no, actually college degree. They did a few more questions afterwards and the following day or two, they came to my workplace to do some B roll there. We took pictures. It was a great feeling. Then it was also the time where at a TA prep again where the Lancaster newspaper also known as l and p for abbreviation, they interviewed me there. That was one of the most intense interviews I ever had. Wow. And they interviewed Jordan Steffy, a quote or two. And then from there there was a lot of accolades and the wars that followed up with far as a proclamation declaration from Lancaster City Council and the mayor Denise raci and receiving two Pennsylvania Commonwealth citations from both the Republicans and Democrats for nonpolitical reasons. Just more inspiring, uplifting reasons.

(22:13):

And then there was also from those university now received a college degree. I also received a Overcoming Adversity award from the former head Department of Communication Theater. Her name is Dr. Theresa Russell Rez. And I also was featured in Alumni Spotlight. Then I was featured in the Snapper Newspaper for having my book signing in there. I can go on with many accolades and recognitions I receive, but I only use that to show people that when you overcome your own adversities and life challenges, there is beauty on the other side. There's light at the end of the tunnel, and of course you can go from victim to Victor. You just got to be willing to do the work with the right people in your corner and best interest.

Curtis Worcester (22:54):

That's right. That's right Ethan, and thank you for taking us through that. I think it really shows how you've become an inspiration to so many with your story. And you mentioned in the beginning it may have been tough to talk about it, but now you're talking about it all the time and people are really using it as a celebration of you and inspiration to others. So I appreciate you sharing that all with us. Something you just said there at the end about overcoming, and obviously for you and your story that involved a lot of physical rehab, right? So after such serious injuries to you regaining even basic functions can be incredibly difficult. Can you just talk about what are some of the small victories during your physical recovery process that really helped keep pushing you forward?

Ethan Poetic (23:40):

This is going to be humbling for a lot of people and kids. There's times where I have to tell 'em I got to sound out words just like you.

(23:47):

I had to read and finger point sentences just like you, I remember this doctor or physical therapy person. I'm not going to get to the full story. I'm just saying this person didn't want me to sit on being in a wheelchair. They were really hard on me and they didn't want to let up. And there's also picking up that beanbag and struggling to do that. Then there's also walking up maybe a few steps. Then there's also the neck exercises. Then there's also the stretching aspect of moving my legs around, increase blood flow, full ranges of motion, and then the day I can finally eat, drink again. And then the big thing that happened at a camp, and I'll keep it short, was I was just asked to volunteer there and this guy wanted me to speak my story there while I'm playing the video games.

(24:36):

And he didn't tell me that before I became a passenger in his car. Yeah, it was during those times where I just wasn't ready. But when I got them speaking, not as proficient as I'm now, but then I felt humbled and I needed some time to myself. And then eventually, one of the things that really was groundbreaking was it was playing untouch football. I was one of the last people to get picked. I figuring I'll just catch a few balls just for fun. But when the ball got thrown to me, I caught it. I never in my life ran that fast before the car accident. As far as everything I endured and the outrun, everybody, I couldn't believe it. I was just looking around, did this just happen, this just real did I regain my breakaway speed and I didn't even lift any weights or have a body trainer. It felt good to have that athletic ability back. I bet. And it just was just some people just couldn't believe it. I go from this near fiddle car accident laying on a anticipated deathbed or a coroner maybe get called. Then my parents got identify me through funeral arrangements. All of a sudden I can run fast again. It doesn't even include me having a brand new car that I ended up getting later on in life, started my own business

(25:52):

And much more. And it turns out the best was yet to come.

Ben Smith (25:56):

Love that. And Ethan, I know obviously you've been out speaking and some of it's not just kind of learning to tell your story, but also I think there's things in terms of advice because there's experiences that you've endured that maybe others are starting to endure themselves. You've lived things that maybe others haven't at this point. And again, I know tragically that's the story, but again, the adversity and overcoming it is such a big part of who you are and what you are today. I know from our audience that we have a lot of retirees and pre-retirees that listen to our show. And I know it's a very common thing that we see is that people are retiring and they have physical limitations, is that it is tough for them to move like they did or something they could do previously. Now they can't. So what would you, just from, obviously you were in that, and I know you talked about breaking through and you were able to regain some of your athletic ability, but even in the moment where you were saying, Hey, I can't do a lot of things, you kind of had to reconcile that a little bit.

(27:07):

So what advice can you offer to people dealing with physical challenges about staying hopeful and positive during recovery or even managing chronic health issues? How do you kind of keep that attitude up? They could see where it's a day by day thing that's really difficult to kind of push through and just every day have a positive attitude as much as you can.

Ethan Poetic (27:28):

Well, what I could tell you is it's about timing and understand that we all enter different phases of our lives. Even the best athletes not to slow down and transition, some transition to being speakers, coaches, trainers, physical therapy or those who are in the field of education, college professors, they make transitions as well when it comes to your ability. We're not the same people we were before physically, but it's a matter of just being thankful of the ability we do have and understand that what is it that you want to do again that you enjoy doing? Whether it's writing, reading, listening, seeing again, those little things we sometimes take advantage of when reality is that it could happen to any one of us. But I still see people who still get the if factor in running ability, even at 81 long distance running and still people who still weight training even in their seventies. So the question because what is it that you want to do at your 24 hours, one hour at a time?

(28:31):

We have to understand that you don't have to be the most athletic person. You don't have to be the best of the best. Just stay in your own lane and focus on yourself on an individual level. Because there's people who come back from the military that have to deal with post-traumatic stress disorders and reliving seeing a comrade or a person, they were close to, died right before their eyes. Eventually they'll get the help they need to the VA hospital and everything else. So the question becomes what type of help do you need to get back where you want to be in life? And I only say that from a position of we have to ask ourselves honest questions in order to be part of the solution. I'm not here to sugarcoat anything because my car accident can't be sugarcoated when it's on television, radio, podcasts, magazines, newspapers, newsletters, and different accolades and awards, it's like kids are born with that sixth sense. They know when someone's being real and they know who to be safe around and not know who to be around. And I say that in a sense how it relates to people where you have to understand who do you want to be around that's going to help you become a better version of yourself as opposed to who wants to bring you down and hold you back.

Curtis Worcester (29:45):

Yeah, no, you're exactly right. Ethan, and I want to ask another question about specifically your journey and your recovery. And again, you can't say enough how difficult it must have been. Were there moments in that recovery where you felt like giving up? And if so, what was it or who was it? What was the combination there that really kept you going?

Ethan Poetic (30:11):

There were times where I wanted to, it's just let's say your kid. You get a booboo, you fought the bike, you get back up in this situation, it's overcoming life and death and it's going to take more than a bandaid And getting back up to get back to where he was doing it took time, countless hours. I remember this one person came to my house or working on little things for physical therapy, making sure I clean out my feeding tube. And then you got so many visitors coming by, so there's going to be accountability because they're not going to want to see me go out and just give up. And it is just a situation where I wanted more for myself than what I was experiencing because one thing I learned about life is it's one thing for a person to be a parent, but it's no fun bearing your own child. I don't think my parents want that to happen for themselves. Yeah. There's also a situation my grandma wouldn't want to see me buried. That's my

Ben Smith (31:14):

Response. Yeah,

(31:15):

Love that. And I think even living for others is a greater purpose of ourselves. And I love that you were using that as your fuel and motivation that you were going to, didn't want your family to go through that experience. And I know my next question is going to be about how has the experience changed the way you view life? And I can just even tell from how you view relationships is one of the big things that you just were describing, but I guess want to ask it from just not only just from your own sense of today is kind of thinking about maybe pre-accident, who you were, what your purpose was at that point, what you thought was meaning and resilience at that moment to today. So I guess what do you kind of view yourself right now of what do you find your purpose to be? This as we're sitting here today on a podcast?

Ethan Poetic (32:13):

Well, prior to crisis, there was already a plan for me to get my driver's license work and do what I was supposed to do. But I'm a former student athlete, but I also realize there's a business side to it's people making money, trainers, au coaches, any sports, travel clubs, sports complex facilities, you name it. As far as moving forward from the situation, it's give me a different perspective of when kids learn about my story and parents. It's like there's certain people I can see myself in growing up in a single parent household, having a certain strained relationship with a certain individual and just looking at perspective of I see myself in you just like they see themselves in me sometimes what keeps me going, sometimes it's just kids show up when I'm at their sporting events or sometimes when I used to work in the classrooms, they'll tell me, oh, I want you to come see me at this musical event.

(33:11):

I want you to see me at my sporting event. I want you to come see me at this afterschool club, or I want you to see me at this childcare center, or I want you to meet my mom. It is those little things and there's also parents captaining like, Hey, I need you to come spend some time with. My son will be here. There's times I get invited to certain events why I up realizing some of these kids come from disadvantaged backgrounds like how I did and I could feel it in my heart and that sense of connection like, whoa, I see a rerun, but that's not technically my child. And then I look at certain moms who are single parents to many times we have this double standard of making a man who's the father look bad but want to have the woman who's singing with all these kids look innocent. But the reality is that you can't have a double standard because that woman chose to give life. That woman chose to be sexually active and continue to repeat the cycle and create a disadvantaged environment, but getting sentenced by the government to continue with. But it also causes a backlog for social workers. And too many times I see I'm only top about from experience, not that I bashing anyone. Too many people settle on being a victim instead of having the courage to rise up to be the victor

(34:32):

Because when you want to be this victim person, you want to think nothing's your fault or you're not responsible for when you just do that too often you give away your value, your self-worth your pride and your dignity. But when you become the victor, you regain all that stuff and much more in order to gain that victim mentality, you have to learn to be humble. And too many times I see people just being in this copycat league wanting to repeat the best cycle, but ultimately I share words of wisdom and advice to certain parents like, Hey, you don't have to keep having all these kids that you can't afford to take care of.

(35:08):

There's times I tell men, you don't have to keep impregnating these women, you don't plan on being with and taking care of, even though it's not always the case. It's one thing to hear from an educator, but it's much different when they hear from somebody who's been there once through it. It came out on the other side. I learned to use my influences to step into other areas of positive influences that crash. You would become the best version of sales. For example, I never used to watch high school volleyball, soccer field hockey, but I just had to go there and make an impact there. There's also showing up to venues. I normally don't go to a Greek gyro fest. There's a couple of times where I'm taking pictures with people in political leadership roles, but ultimately we all have a choice to make and when we do good with our influences and through this journey, I learned I was more than just a student athlete. I'm more than a person to come from a single parent household. It depended on lot of government benefits and I outlasted that stuff.

Curtis Worcester (36:09):

Yeah, you absolutely did. Ethan and I just thinking through this whole conversation and I know your story and I'm excited for our listeners to hear your story because it's just incredible and it shows in the work you're doing today, right? It's one of those stories that I can't even, I don't know because I haven't been through it, but seeing you talk about it, I know it's tough for you, but we just really appreciate you sharing that story. I do have one kind of wrap up question for you, Ethan, on our show. So we're here on the Retirement success in Maine podcast. Ben and I are located in the state of Maine. A lot of our listeners are either close to retirement or are living through their retirement success. So I like to ask all of our guests, how are you Ethan going to find your own retirement success when you get there? I know you're young, so I'm asking you to kind of think ahead to retirement. What does that look like? What's a successful retirement for you?

Ethan Poetic (37:10):

Well, I got multiple answers to that growing up I learned the American way was people can retire early in their forties. They did 20 years at a company like a state work for the state or the county, take the penalty on the chin. Some people might want to retire in their sixties, but also learn a different perspective of, look at the Amish, the Men Knights and the Quakers, and they don't believe in retirement because they're making more money continuing to work than they would've retired. Plus, they don't put into the state and federal system. When it comes to me, I look at it like, why do I want to retire when there's still more to life? It's just certain things change. Now, one thing I'm not doing anymore is being that student athlete,

(37:59):

But I transitioned where I used to work the sporting events to be the spectator. Now I see retirement as a transition for some people. I understand some people might not want to work anymore that nine to five or the 40 hour work week or 60 hours a week on a salary with benefits. All I can say is I know what my purpose is to continue to make an impact on earth. But speaking engagements, my books, allowing people to see me on social media, public appearances because I come a long way with retirement. I don't have any disabilities physically, emotionally, and all this other stuff that I know of. I just know that retirement looks differently for some people. Some people might want to retire to fulfill their bucket lists.

(38:44):

Go on these all expenses, paid vacations, spend more time with the grandchildren or sometimes great-grandchildren, be more involved in a more behind the scenes role with community engagement, community relations. It is just a situation where some people might want to do things more on their own terms. I see some people who retired who might not want to answer their cell phone until the evening, and if something was really important, somebody would let a voicemail or a text message showing that it was real urgent. But retirement looks different for everybody and some people, like I said before in the Amish and midnight culture and Quaker culture, don't believe in retirement because they didn't want to put their financial trust in the government. Because even when you do file for retirement, you may make 60 to 80% of what you made. But then again, some people do need to retire because working St Extraordinary jobs can take a toll on a person's life, person's marriage, relationships. And then from a business standpoint, some companies might want to hire someone that's younger and more affordable for their alleged budget as of now. And it's too serious for me to think about retirement when the best is to come.

Ben Smith (39:59):

I love that. And Ethan, I know that's probably going to be your answer in another four or 50 years I'm sure is you're going to go, Hey, the best is always going to be around the next corner. I think you brought up a lot of key things that we're finding with our guests have come on about transitions, about resiliency, optimism that really these are just pivots and just kind of finding yourself within that pivot is really important. I do want to also just put out there the listeners, if you want to kind of follow Ethan, you can go to Instagram, Snapchat or TikTok, and the username is Ethan Poetic 23 or on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. Just search Ethan Poetic. You can find 'em there. We'll have a link to Ethan's website, his book, he actually did an audible as well. I'm a big audible guy and also LinkedIn.

(40:51):

You can kind of check him out there. But Ethan, thank you so much for coming on our show today. Again, I know Curtis said as well, your story of resiliency and just kind of what you had to fight through and kind of finding yourself, but also the message of now that you're sharing and giving back to the community and you're inspiring others is just really just inspirational for us. And I know we're not even in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, so we really want to honor that. And thank you so much for coming on our show. I know our listeners got a lot out of it today.

Ethan Poetic (41:25):

Yes, thank you for having me on your show. Thank you for having me make an impact in somebody's life or lives on my website. It's called Ethan Speaks for six inquiries for whether it be my book, I'll sign it, autograph it in mail to you. I do value my services and my products, and I just want to say, keep it. Be encouraged to fight the good fight and understand your mental health is your wealth.

Ben Smith (41:49):

Awesome. Ethan, thanks so much for coming on our show and I would love to hear from you sometime down the road. Take care.